Overcoming Identity Crisis

Hey friend- was there a passion that you pursued growing up that now feels off limits or like an ex-lover?

For me this was acting.

From the first time I played Ben Franklin's wife in our elementary school production I was hooked.

Most of my free time was spent filming commercial parody's & short films with our home video recorder.

I'd spend hours pouring over play scripts, sneaking off to acting classes, practicing monologues in my bedroom. I even switched high schools my sophomore year when an arts school opened up.

Acting wasn't just another hobby. It was my soul food- what I considered my purpose. I lived and breathed it.

When I was getting ready to apply for college, something shifted. I made a tough decision to not pursue a theatre major. And in my “all or nothing” mindset this meant giving up anything to do with acting all together.

This choice felt like a break-up. I can remember sitting in movie theatre's weeping after fabulous films- not because of witnessing creative genius…but feeling the lost potential of not being apart of cinema history.

I used to feel alone in my experience around lost passions. I kept the thoughts & feelings to myself because I didn't think anyone could relate- that I was being “dramatic” ;)

But through my own therapy & supporting so many incredible, passionate, creative clients over the years I've learned that this experience is more common than I thought.

I've witnessed women silently grieve the transition from team sports, business pursuits that never took off, maternal aspirations that pivoted & so much more.

What I've realized is that this kind of emotional process is related to so much more than “changing minds” or outgrowing something- it's related to our identity.

And rigid identities combined with that kind of all or nothing thinking…ooof it can feel pretty crappy.

But what's the alternative? What's on the other side of this type of mourning BESIDES resentment?

In my own experience, I've softened to the idea pursuing art for play.

I've given myself permission to release the “either/or”, and embrace the “both/and” mindset in this part of my life + beyond.

Signing up for an acting class doesn't mean that you have to pursue an Academy Award or you're failing.

Joining a club sport doesn't mean that you're half ass-ing or need to be working toward an Olympic medal.

Creating a business from a hobby doesn't mean you have to hit six figures or you're sinking.

I've witnessed this freedom within so many clients through our work together. So often these rigid patterns around food & our body are themes in multiple areas of our life…which is why identity work is one of my favorite areas to explore when supporting someone.

If you've got a lost dream in your life that feels painful to think about, or that you've possibly buried so deep it's been forgotten I want to let you know you're not alone.

This week I invite you to notice WHAT that dream is.

I'm sending you love, confidence, and courage.